Some Jokes in english

An indianTeacher :Because of Gandhiji's hard work what do we get on 15th August.
Student:A holiday

Teacher:"What is your name?".
Student:"Mera naam Suraj Prakash hai."
Teacher:"When I ask aquestion in english,answer it in english."
Student:"My name is Sunlight."

Teacher :Tomorrow there will be a lecture on Sun.Everyone must attend it.
Raju:No ma'm! I will not be able to attend it.
Teacher :Why?
Raju:My mother will not allow me to go so far!!!

(cuz his mom said beta school sé sidhé ghar ana )

excellent jokes

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the boy to his father: is it real that love is blind?
the father: it's true , look at your mom and you will now

Sherlock Holmes and Watson are going camping. During the night, Sherlock wakes Watson up and tells him : "Watson, look at the stars and tell me your conclusion"
Watson : "Er... I can see the North star, and Venus may be there..."
Sherlock : "You're stupid !! Someone stole the tent !"

This is a story about four people named: Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody.
There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it.
Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it.
Somebody got angry about that because it was Everybody's job.
Everybody thought that Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it.
It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done

An agriculture student said to a farmer:
"Your methods are too old fashioned. I won't be surprised if this tree will give you less than twenty pounds of apples."
"I won't be surprised either," said the farmer, "this is an orange tree".

the father was sitting at home when he received a summoning from school about his smart son ..lol..the father has gone there to see what's going on ...he found the teacher waiting for him with the "smart" son .. then the teacher started to complain about the child who is the most stupid and the lazier at school, the father of course didn't believe him and then the teacher decided to testify and told the child:"hey you, go to the other classroom and look for ur father there ( the father is right besides them )"..the son as the teacher ordered him went to the classroom and came Back in a while and said "there's no one there teacher" .. the father shouted at him and said " what a stupid child i got!! go and look for me in the other classroom!!!!" hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh don't ever blame someone to resemble to his father

Two stupids met up and the first said :"If you knew what I got into this bag, I'll give you a fish from it "... the second replied :"the sea???!!!"